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Please note that Haikuvies may contain spoilers, rough language, tasteless jokes, bad puns, and other offensive content. Reader discretion is advised. These Haikuvies have been formatted to fit your screen. Enjoy the show.

Rain Main (1988)

May 26, 2009 - Devon Biere

Autistic savant
and caustic prick non-savant
travel cross-country

Ray gets 3 million
main man Charlie gets the car
and some rose bushes

Wednesday is fish sticks
15 minutes to Wapner
then Wheel of Fortune

Inside the phone booth
(pffffft) uh oh, fart... uh oh, fart
did you fart, Ray? fart

Reading the phone book
counting cards in Las Vegas
elevator dance

Who's on first, What's on
second, I Don't Know's on third
who? that's the man's name

Charlie learns to love
Raymond learns that K-Mart sucks
definitely... yeah

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W. (2008)

April 24, 2009 - Devon Biere

Oliver Stone makes
small film about a small man
Oedipus in Chief

Dubya drenched in beer
frat boy with daddy issues
can't hold down a job

Laura likes to read
George tends to choke on pretzels
match made in Texas

Suckled through the schools
rarely is the question asked:
is our kids learning?

Axis of evil
Bush wants to whip Saddam's ass
mission accomplished

Fool me once, shame on...
two full hours of Bushisms
all the greatest hits

You know what's so sad?
most of this movie is true
now THAT's shock and awe

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Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

April 19, 2009 - Devon Biere

Story of a man
doing his utmost to piss
away a franchise

Anakin is full
of hormones and ego and
midichlorians

I don't like sand... it's
coarse, rough, and irritating...
like this dialogue

Mom dies in his arms
now little orphan Ani
will have his revenge

Blur of lightsabers
Yoda gets crunk on Red Bull
but Dooku escapes

CG clone army
battles CG droid army
no pixel is spared

Pile of bantha crap
execrable excrement
please make the pain stop

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